I Think Verizon FIOS sucks

Verizon folds already!

2011-12-30T15:48:00.002-05:00

As predicted, those bozos at Verizon already scrapped the ludicrous idea of a $2 fee for paying online. Maybe they could listen to other feedback and ramp up their customer service approach.

Autopay or $2 fee? You've gotta be kidding me, Verizon.

2011-12-29T21:18:00.002-05:00

Let me get this straight - either you autopay every month, which inherently means accepting any amount they charge you, or you will be charged a "convenience" fee of $2? What a bunch of jerks. In my situation, where I never actually received a proper bill (despite the futile efforts of media relations), I would have been sorting the nonsense out based on hearsay. Their customer service already sucks, and then they levy a reverse stupid tax? Please. My hunch is that they will backtrack on this decision within a few weeks. Then again, maybe I shouldn't be shocked by anything these folks do to make the experience any more painful for their customers.

Lady goes to court to get Verizon bill

2011-07-16T13:32:00.002-04:00

Years later, seems like you need to go to great lengths to get a bill from Verizon - this customer had to take them to court.

Thankfully, there are a few people out there who don't put up with shit like that. Good for her.

Google "FIOS SUCKS" and we are still front and center...

2010-06-21T21:54:00.002-04:00

Got a note from a new blog visitor tonight. "New" in that she just discovered the site, but not "new" in the sense that FIOS is still treating customers like total garbage. She indicated to me "I seriously wish I googled them before signing [up]." That's definitely the point of the site. We are trying to prevent as much heartache as possible, so please refer people to the site as appropriate.

Here's her message, which sounds very familiar to my story and the countless others discussed here. My commentary is in red...

Where do I even begin??!

- Our bill is more than they said it would be. Told us boxes were included in the promotion we got. A $30 difference in price. I understand the frustration, but at least you got a bill.

- Receiving bills on email & in the mail is not consistent. Now we are talking the same language. If no bill via email + an erroneous bill via paper (in a handwritten envelope) = not consistent, then I know exactly what you are talking about.

- When you pay online it doesn't update.

- Wasn't aware of the above, called & was told I paid double. I asked for a refund of the extra payment.

- Turns out I never double paid & they refunded my only payment. Um, that's your mistake NOT mine. Train your employees to properly look at bills/payments. (plan on disputing this) There are a number of blogs documenting how FIOS representatives are completely useless. At least you got someone on the darn line.

- Was told when we signed the contract that with military orders we could get out of it with out the penalty fee. This has taken 5 phone calls & orders my husband sent in lost by them. I know how frustrating it can be. I lost count of how many phone calls I made to those bozos. Not surprising they can't get something as simple as military orders figured out.

- Can't get a supervisor to talk to me. I never had luck with "supervisors" (e.g. never got promised call backs, put on hold then disconnected, etc). Later, I made contact with supposedly more senior staff members and still got zero resolution.

- Was told the penalty fee will be waved but they can't do that until it shows up on the next bill. So my head ache will continue into next month. Tell them to go suck a lemon. You will feel much better.

- What is with no customer service on weekends??!! Sounds like you never got any customer service during the week, either. I feel your pain.

I'm sure I am missing something. I know how hard it is to keep track of their mistakes. Bunch of complete bozos.

"You cool with me putting this on my blog? Yes, FIOS sucks..."

2010-04-27T22:54:00.004-04:00

This site continues to receive traffic. In fact, I believe it is one of the top search results when searching FIOS sucks. Apparently that is still a topic that people search - go figure.

Recently, I have received a few emails detailing long ordeals that remind me of my own crappy experience from a few years ago, so it is my duty to post them here. When folks email me, I make sure to get their permission to post it to the blog (without their personal information, of course). When I asked this particular emailer whether that was ok, he responded "Yes. FIOS sucks..." Glad we are on the same page.

In the future, I need to establish a way for folks to post their own testimonials directly. Current functionality brings recent comments to my posts to the top of the page, but admittedly I am not an expert with this.

And without further ado...

Over that last years, I've had C-Band dish, and 3 years ago upgraded our TV's to High Definition, and obtained Direct TV.

While we are pleased with our high def TV's, living in Florida the afternoon storms created cloud cover that obscured our Direct TV signal. My in-laws had Dish Network which in our area was 20 times worse.

When FIOS was installed in our area, I was elated - but then came reality. Lets be clear here - I have no issue with the internet or phone service, but the TV service has MAJOR issues...

Main complaint - the Motorola series (all of them) are complete crap. Not only is there only 20 hours of recording time (compared to 40 hours w/ all the others), but the boxes routinely fail. Series recordings "DON'T", in other words, the box shows it's recorded, but there is no recording there.

Because there is only 20 hours of recording, you must constantly clean an remove shows you might keep if it wasn't so small. because of this, I have to pay for 2 DVR's, one in my family room, and one in the master bedroom, raising my cost of ownership.

In the 18 months of service, I have replaced the DVRs (both of them) at least 6 times. The stupid mistake of taking them into a local facility for replacement resulted in 2 months of billing errors in which I was charged for extra equipment I didn't have.

The only thing more incompetent than the DVR's, is the billing system. Finally I was able to get someone who recognized the issues (after I'd PDF'd my receipts for turn in of the faulty equipment) - and while on that subject, one of the replacement DVR's was faulty out of the box! Worse than both of those is the IVR s ystem from hell. That thing does NOT speak English.

Again - let me be clear - NO ISSUE with the internet or phone service. But the TV DVR's from Motorola are the biggest piece of crap I've had the displeasure of owning. The "On Line" system only functions if the system can communicate with the boxes, which usually requires restart of not only all your DVR's, but also the FIOS router.

They are rumored to be testing Cisco DVR's, which I've volunteered to be a "test pig" for, as I can no longer stomach the constant issues with the Motorola 6xxx and 7xxx devices. At this point I'm debating whether to go back to Bright House and deal with their issues, or just poke my eyes out.

I have to admit - at this point - I just miss my C-Band services. At least those worked.

Verizon - get your "stuff" together or at least stop wasting your money on c ommercials... This is FIOS - This is a big piece of (FILL IN THE BLANKS YOURSELF)...

-A site reader

Verizon Bills a Dead Guy's Family for 8 Months

2010-03-07T22:39:00.002-05:00

http://www.tampabay.com/features/consumer/pinellas-womans-verizon-fight-shows-why-pins-should-be-shared/1076677

"Lacy sent the phone company a death certificate, showing her father, Bill Young of Calvin, W.Va., died in June. But not until repeated phone calls and a complaint to the media did Verizon finally cut it off — last week [article from March 2, 2010]."

Still when Lucy contacted the customer support, she was told..."Well, there's nothing else I can do for you," the representative said before laughing and hanging up the phone.

Verizon still sucks, big time.

Yet another testimonial, two years after my ordeal.

2009-12-07T21:29:00.003-05:00

Seems like the party just never ends with FIOS - nearly two years after my ordeal, Verizon customer "service" still drives people crazy.

From a recent site visitor:

Verizon FIOS customer service is an absolute joke. The company is completely unregulated and argues that regulations aren't necessary because the competitive marketplace for Cable TV services is sufficient to enforce the company to have decent customer service. But Verizon's argument fails if for the simple reason it competes with the cable industry!! An industry with an equally horrible reputation for customers service. Well, if Verizon FIOS' customer service is being policed by competition, then I guess Verizon FIOS is doing everything it can to match the Cable industry's lackluster reputation.

I've had FIOS for about 3 years. Love the service, but if there's a problem -- WATCH OUT!!! Better grab a bottle of Xanax, a tall drink, and make sure you take the day off of work. Why? Because you'll need patience... lots of patience... and you'll need time... lots of time. Don't have any loaded weapons b/c after the 3rd of 4th or 5th time you repeat your problem to a different "department, " you'll want to blow your brains out. That, or put a hole in your flat screen TV with the blank void staring at you.

Mind you, this isn't the first time I've experienced a problem with FIOS over the past few years. I actually say prayers at night hoping not to have any technical, billing or other issues with FIOS because I dread making that call.

Here's a recap of my most recent experience earlier this evening...

Come home from work at 5:30 to a blank screen with the following announcement --

THIS CHANNEL IS CURRENTLY NOT AVAILABLE... CHANGE CHANNEL OR CALL THIS NUMBER - 1-866-962-1946...

So I make the call.

After going over my telephone number, name, rank serial number, mother's maiden name, and showing them a picture of the mole on my ass to confirm my identity because I had the misfortune of NOT also having a "Verizon Telephone Number" on my account (yes, I of the audacity to choose a competitive telephone provider over Verizon), I finally get ahold of someone who can access my account.

VZ: What's the problem sir??

ME: Well, I don't know, you tell me. My TV tells me to call this number.

VZ: It looks like your account is suspended.

ME: Really? How did that happen? I'm on auto-pay and the payment has been deducted every month for 3 years, without fail.

VZ: I can't say, sir. I'll have to transfer you to the billing department. We don't handle billing issues.

ME: Ok. Can you transfer me to a human being account rep [cue on hold music] resentative!!!

... ON HOLD MUSIC CONTINUES FOR THE NEXT 25 MINUTES... good, gives me time to eat dinner as I sit in front of my blank TV screen.

Enter Billing Department representative.

VZ: Sir, can you provide the Verizon Telephone Number associated with your account...

Oh God, here we go again... 10 minutes later and I've once again provided the rep with a picture of the mole... finally, my account information is up in front of her... finally, I can get this issue resolved and get TV service restored... finally...

VZ: Sorry, sir, yes this is the Billing Department, but we don't handle payments... that's another department... and I'm sorry to say that the payments department is only open from 8AM to 6PM and it's now 6:30 PM, you'll have to call back in the morning to have your service restored.

ME: Wait, you mean there's nothing I can do to identify the cause of the suspension this evening? Possibly have you restore my service??

VZ: No sir, even if we could, service wouldn't be restored until tomorrow during normal business hours.

ME: Well... thanks for wasting the past hour on the phone with me... had you bunch of idiots provided me with the right damn phone number from the get go, I would have been in touch with someoene during NORMAL BUSINESS HOURS!!!

And mind you, this is not a rare occurance. I'd say I've had to contact Verizon around a dozen times in 3 years. Each time the service experience gets worse and worse and worse. And no matter how many times I call, it takes 10 minutes and all the personal information in the world for them to even access my account information... and that's 10 minutes every damn time I'm transferred to one of Verizon's infamous "Other Departments."

How many Departments does Verizon have??? It has as many Departments as are necessary to make sure 90% of the complaining customers who call them get so fed up being transferred to a different Department they simply give up!!

Please... FCC... Virginia Corporation Commission... Attorney General... someone... please help!!!

Sooner or later, some consumer advocacy group is going to have to lead the charge to get this company regulated. If you called up and had a problem with Verizon "telephone" service, you'd not only have your call answered within 2 minutes (because state utility commission regulations require them to answer w/in a specified time), but you'd also have your problems resolved 24/7, again, because regulations require the company to do so.

But FIOS is unregulated. And unregulated in a universe where your competition is the CableCo or Satellite TV isn't exactly self-policing competition.

Boy am I glad to be a Cox Customer rather than a FIOS Customer

2009-11-05T23:41:00.002-05:00

Crap happens. But when crap happens, companies should make it right. With Verizon, crap happened over the course of weeks and despite my many hours of trying to get things straightened out, they still treated me like garbage.

On the other hand, Cox had an equipment issue the other night and apparently it affected a lot of customers (I didn't notice a problem). Proactively, they are offering a service credit and a free on-demand movie as a good-faith gesture. And how did I find out about this? They just ran a commercial apologizing and indicating that the credits will be applied. That's quite a contrast from my hours on the phone with Verizon, getting bounced around from department to department, none of which could fix my many issues.

Look for Verizon to try and replicate the goodwill of the following message from Cox. I doubt they will, but even if they try, we will all know it is a reactive move.

We let you down. You expected to turn on your television and sit down to watch the game or your favorite Wednesday night show. That probably didn’t happen and I apologize for that. Some of our most vital equipment took a significant power hit, and when rebooted, much like a home computer, it did not come back on line properly. In spite of tremendous effort on the part of our best people, that reboot process took several hours and frankly, probably ruined your night. As your neighbor, I experienced the same in my home.

We are committed to you, our valued customer, and nothing is more important than rebuilding your trust in us by taking action to make things right. While such an outage has not occurred in the history of Cox Nova, we take this very seriously and are already working to ensure higher reliability of our video network as we completely review processes and emergency procedures so that you can enjoy your evenings uninterrupted.

We appreciate having you as a customer, and I want you to know that my team and I worked through the night to be sure that this message was awaiting you when you started your day. It's important to us to do the right thing. My thanks for allowing us to serve you,

Janet Barnard
SVP and General Manager
Cox Communications

FIOS disappoints "Wall Street," after disappointing my "Main Street"

2009-10-27T00:11:00.003-04:00

Verzion Earnings Article

As expected...

"Verizon's heavily promoted FiOS TV service gained 191,000 customers. That increase was 18 percent lower than the level of a year ago and far less than the 253,000 expected by Wall Street, said Sanford Bernstein analyst Craig Moffett. He called the growth in FiOS a "clear disappointment."

The analyst must not be a FIOS subscriber. Otherwise, he'd have a lot worse things to say about FIOS than "clear disappointment." I'd go with utter disaster, complete buffoons, totally incompetent putzes, and just an abundance of morons.

It's pretty simple. FIOS can't survive on fiber optic hype alone, whatever the heck that even means. As long as testimonials about their customer "service" are widely circulated and a common theme for competing cable provider advertisements, they are fighting a losing battle.

My blog has given birth!

2009-08-03T22:00:00.002-04:00

Looks like Verizon is still a bunch of morons who can't get basic billing straightened out. This guy has been through a similar ordeal. He mentioned how he never got a response from Verizon execs. Join the club, buddy.

Sorry I missed this one

2009-06-30T22:31:00.001-04:00

Here's a funny FIOS article. I can attest that their math skills are pathetic, as documented on this blog, but this one takes the cake.

http://consumerist.com/5157960/verizon-math-0-off-equals-a-25-discount

Verizon's Customer "Service" appears to be on a roll.

2009-02-09T18:26:00.006-05:00

Comments are starting to pick up in the past few days, complaining of terrible "service:"

"I have spent 3 hours so far trying to get someone to talk to and have still have not reached anyone. I can only get automated line and then they say after holding for an hour they cannot connect me and say to call back and disconnect me- how do they stay in business????? "

"I was told to go online and check my bill there, but no phone bill showed. Now customer diservice phase began (strike 2) They would put me on hold for 25 min at a time, then the person would answer and say call back Monday, the hours are closed."

"Received first bill...received second bill...received third bill...received fourth bill...received fifth bill...received sixth bill"

"Tried upgrading two standard cable boxes to HD via UPS mail. Verizon tech showed up at my house unscheduled. Called and was told they couldn’t mail boxes anymore so I rescheduled a technician to exchange boxes. After 4 weeks I finally had the two boxes exchanged. A month later I received a bill for $500 for not returning the two standard boxes that the Verizon tech took with him. Spent 30 minutes on the phone trying to straighten out."

4/15/09 Update - The hits just keep on coming.

"I am just livid that I agreed to have Fios installed! I have been on the phone three times with V3rizon, and I am still not done fixing the problem. I was promised a package deal for $99.99, 3 months of a movie package for free, FREE installation, and a $100 credit card gift card. It's been two months, and I have not received the gift card. I was overcharged for the package and when I complained, they didn't even credit me for that month. I was charged for the free movie package, and for the free installation."

"same trouble here. could not reach them for a day. all 3 services - tv/internet/phone down for over 6 hours. now the caller id does not work. they want me to pay to come and fix it - they say it is the service box. will switch back to cable in about 6 months."
Seems like nothing has changed since I canceled my service."

Shout-out to my friend at Cox Cable

2008-12-09T17:13:00.003-05:00

I contacted Cox Cable today to change my telephone plan, and wanted to give a shout-out to the extremely helpful representative I spoke to - such a breath of fresh air to spend less than 30 seconds on hold, be connected to a helpful representative first-time, and resolve my issue in a matter of minutes.

Also, Verizon, you can stop sending me all of your promotional materials. I will never switch back, so save your money. And I apologize for the earful I gave that saleskid who came around our neighborhood peddling FIOS a few weeks ago. He acknowledged that all of my concerns have been voiced many times, and he claims that Verizon has addressed these issues, but I don't believe that for one second.

Been a while, but here is an update on recent site traffic

2008-10-08T23:06:00.005-04:00

So I logged on to Google Analytics this evening to see if anyone still visits the site, and it turns out that they do. Not exactly the next Facebook, but nearly 400 visits in the past month shows that people are still stopping by to hear about my experience.

Below is a list of the top 10 search terms that have brought people here via Google search - Google search represents nearly 2/3 of all traffic to the site. Seems like people still have a need to search for "Verizon equipment return, Verizon pay final bill, FIOS billing complaints, etc." Doesn't surprise me.

A Familiar Experience?

2008-08-18T10:33:00.003-04:00

Here's an article about a guy who spent an inordinate amount of time trying to get his mother's name off the Verizon bill after she passed away a few months ago. The guy suffered the same wait times and utter incompetence that I did. Doesn't look like they are doing much to address their image.

Some of my favorite lines, which remind me of my own experience:

1) "He spoke to three different people, each person putting him on hold for about 20 minutes."

I spoke with only three people on a good day.

2) “I finally get a woman that seems to know what she is talking about.”

Yeah, I said that a few times. Famous last words.

3) "I contacted a Verizon spokesman based in New York City, and he replied promptly."

It took an email to a spokesperson for me to get a response, too. Pretty sad.

Meanwhile, Verizon stock hovers near its 52-week low.

Is Verizon Having Trouble Selling FIOS?

2008-07-30T14:16:00.005-04:00

In news that I don't find particularly surprising, Alley Insider has an article about whether Verizon can continue selling FIOS without giving away free tvs.

From the article:
During Q2, Verizon added 176,000 net new FiOS TV subscribers, down 33% from 263,000 in Q1 and 226,000 in Q4. The 176,000 missed RBC's estimate (273,000) and Goldman's (230,000) by a wide margin.

And a few quotes that might explain the decrease in new subscribers:

CFO Doreen Toben:

"The sequential decline in FiOS net adds was due primarily to a lower level of promotions, marketing and advertising activities during the quarter. For example, we ended our free TV offer."

Me:

..."I think Verizon is having trouble selling FIOS because their customer service is a steaming pile of dog crap...also, showing up for appointments might make it easier for people to add service...oh yeah, and billing people for services rendered would help Verizon's bottom line..."

A New Testimonial

2008-07-10T12:16:00.002-04:00

Haven't heard from Verizon since they stupidly sent me a check. Sucks for them. But I have heard from a few friends who have recently switched from Verizon to other TV/internet providers.

One coworker is going through an ordeal where Verizon sent his alleged outstanding bill to collections - they claimed he never returned the equipment, when in fact, they moved it for him when he moved to a new home. So he remained a Verizon customer, they did the new installation, and they are claiming he never returned the equipment. Freaking brilliant! Of course he didn't return the equipment, you morons. He is still using it, and paying for the service. He is now switching to a new provider.

Just this morning, an old buddy of mine IMed me about his recent experience. Another typical Verizon nightmare. As he mentions, he speaks "redneck," so you'll have to excuse his spelling and grammar. The transcript is below, with some great one-liners.

friend: just thought i would share, Cox is outside right now hooking up my new cable modem
friend: i blew a fuse on Verizon yesterday
Me: nice
Me: seriously, they are freaking maddening
friend: so here a little history for your blog
friend: i have DSL
friend: i got upgraded
friend: to 3mb down 768 up
friend: all to hell after that, every time my phone rings it drops for 10 seconds
friend: every time i call they want me to delete temp files, reboot, unplug, etc
friend: i can unhook every single phone in my house
friend: call from my cell phone and my interent still drops
friend: that rules out their damn dsl filters
Me: that's useful
friend: so i call Verizon yesterday and spoke redneck to them
friend: guess what, today no drops and i never touched a thing
friend: but cox is still here because this has went on for 6 months now and they were never able to fix it before
Me: you'll be good with cox. they have been good with me.
friend: I can call verizon and tell them a tree is down and they will want me to still reboot my computer and delete temp files
Me: that quote is going on the blog
friend: and power cycle my dsl modem
friend: i call cox and George answers
friend: i call verizon and Saldfsajfkdsajfkdsajfdsafakjs answers
Me: that quote is also going on the blog
friend: so its Cox and Vonage now
Me: music to my ears
friend: i am sure the FIOS service is great just working with verizon sucks
friend: my buddies have 20/20 FIOS at their house and its good
Me: thats what i always said. FIOS usually works fine. just the customer service is downright asinine.
friend: i cannot get even try FIOS here because they destroyed our community and the HOA banned them from digging until further notice
friend: we had a congressman here talking against Verzon asking them to pay for the repairs

Also, last thing. Remember when I compared Verizon to Sprint a few months ago, in that Sprint foolishly acquired Nextel and created a huge pile of crap thereby sending the stock plummeting? Well Verizon Wireless recently agreed to buy Alltel for $28 billion. See a parallel? Time will tell, but if Verizon Wireless' service is anywhere near as crappy as their FIOS (and apparently DSL) service, Verizon stock should be on a Southbound train to Crapotown in the next few years.

A Most Amusing Development - Verizon Sent ME a Check

2008-05-27T23:44:00.005-04:00

As if this ridiculous saga couldn't get any more asinine - Verizon sent ME a freaking check. After months of ME trying to send THEM money, they sent ME a damn check. I guess my favorite charity is going to get another donation.

To quickly recap...
1) I spent weeks trying to reschedule a phone installation, which never occurred.
2) I canceled my other FIOS services, in protest of the atrocious customer service I endured while trying to reschedule.
3) I was promised shipping labels to return my Verizon equipment, which never came.
4) I called numerous times to locate said labels, which I was repeatedly promised, and ultimately located a Verizon retail store where I was able to return the equipment - I was concerned that I would be charged significant penalties for not returning the stuff (just like a co-worker who had his equipment picked up by a Verizon tech).
5) I requested a final bill, to confirm that the return of my equipment was logged properly in the Verizon system and to pay the appropriate charges that I owed for the prorated month.
6) Through the phone and email channels, I received a hell of a lot of heartburn and at least 5 quotes for my final balance.
7) I was told repeatedly that a final bill was not possible, despite the numerous indications that I owed something.
8) I contacted Media Relations, who provided me with a point of contact and an assurance that everything would be resolved appropriately.
9) Verizon reiterated that they could not provide a final bill, but that my account balance was $0.00.
9) I received at least two paper bills and an email notification that there was an amount due.
10) My point of contact indicated that these notifications were in error, and that my account was closed.
11) After 4-5 months, countless phone calls/emails, and 28k+ webhits, this saga ends, right?

Apparently not.

Nearly 4 months since I canceled my Verizon service...Having tried and failed (repeatedly) to pay the money that I assumed I owed...Feeling good that I had, at least, donated the money to charity... Having received no signed apology or explanation for my troubles...Or at least assuming these folks would just leave me the hell alone (Stop sending me promotional crap all the time - NO I WILL NOT TRY FIOS!!!!)...

NO, THEY SENT ME A CHECK FOR $14.04!!! It's just mind boggling that a company can make this many mistakes.

I assume that when the system finally came to its senses, and generated a bill for $14.04, the folks at Verizon scrambled to remove the outstanding balance. It would appear that in their haste, they removed it twice, thereby generating a check for $14.04.

I just received it today, so I haven't had a chance to cash it. I assume they can stop payment when they read this, but it might cost more than the value of the check. I know I promised to send a copy of my story to the Corporate Offices, but I have been busy recently, and I kept having this feeling that the final chapter hadn't been written. Soon enough, I will do so.

4/25 Update: Apparently, it was an "error"

2008-04-25T16:41:00.004-04:00

I got the following email, indicating that the bill I received was a mistake. Apparently, they generated said "error" when "ensur[ing] everything had been closed out correctly." How ironic. Even more ironic is that the "error" is actually a portion of my legitimate final bill. However, given the earlier discussions that my final bill was $0.00, I am not fighting that battle anymore. The money was sent to charity.

So maybe this is the end again. I sent a follow-up on the explanation I want so much, but I don't think it's on its way. No big deal. I will just pass along a copy of this blog as an FYI to corporate when I get back from vacation. That's closure for me.

Holy crap, they now say I have a bill !!!!!

2008-04-25T14:00:00.003-04:00

I don't have the time to really deal with this appropriately right now, because I am on vacation until next Saturday, but I just got a freaking email from Verizon saying that my final bill was available online. This is complete horsecrap for a number of reasons...1) its more than 2 months after the fact, 2) I received an email on Apr 2 from "executive support" saying I have no final bill and/or they couldn't print it, 3) I donated the money to charity, and 4) I am just sick and tired of dealing with these folks.

I am forwarding this post along to Verizon to see if they have any clue about what is going on. This is harassment at this point.

Verizon's Own Workers Are Picketing Against Their Bad Customer Service

2008-04-23T17:54:00.002-04:00

I saw this article and couldn't resist posting it here. Turns out that Verizon workers are picketing their own company for providing crappy service. Crappy service from Verizon sounds a bit familiar, doesn't it?

Consumerist.com quotes a self-identifying union member, who said "We are losing customers because of billing problems. We are losing customers because when the customers call in with billing or installation problems the employees are told to focus on "educating the customer on Verizon products and services" not on correcting their problem or answering their questions. " According to Consumerist.com, Verizon's response was that they haven't gotten many complaints from customers. They can deny it all they want, but when your own employees are so damn embarrassed by the service they provide that they go on strike, you know you have a problem.

Well I will tell you what...if Verizon "hasn't gotten many complaints from customers," I am going to go ahead and print a copy of my blog and send it along to the CEO's office. Perhaps I focused my efforts too low on the totem pole and my message did not make it sufficiently up the chain for Verizon to properly address my concerns. If they think this whole thing was handled properly and I don't deserve an apology, then so be it. But at least they will have one complaint on the record, and I will be satisfied that I explored every option.

"So that's it, it's over?"

2008-04-06T17:20:00.006-04:00

Unfortunately, it very well may be the end, and it is certainly not the grand finale I was expecting. Four months after scheduling my phone installation, I seem to have arrived at the end of my journey with no FIOS (hooray), no final bill (oh well), and no real explanation (kinda surprising). All I have to show for it is countless hours of time on the phone with Verizon, never a single promised returned phone call through the call center, a bunch of different quotes for my final bill, and finally the admission that they can’t even bill me for charges I owe. A complete disaster.

During my experience with customer "service," there wasn’t a single person who was able to help re-schedule my installation, provide the “promised” shipping labels to return my equipment, or provide me a final bill. Hell, those folks couldn’t even transfer me to the right department most of the time – I spoke with more irrelevant departments than I can count. The few times I did seem to get through to the "right" department, no one could help me. Every person I spoke with was useless. Even when I escalated my concerns significantly up the corporate chain, it took nearly two weeks to determine that their billing system couldn’t spit out my final bill.

The good news is that the message really got out. My blog appeared on the Sports Guy’s “Links of the Week,” received over 26,000 pageviews, and I got lots of emails, almost all supporting my efforts - except for the one guy told me to “Jump off a bridge” – thanks for that. But best of all, perhaps, is that over 90% of poll respondents said that my blog will “affect [their] decision to consider Verizon FIOS.” Plus, the blog will live on indefinitely for those folks that stumble here. I have a hard time believing that my story would have a positive influence on readers, so hopefully lots of other people will be able to avoid the torture I endured, too.

Verizon can spend all the money it wants laying fiber optic cable, buying up the majority of the wireless spectrum auctioned off by the FCC, and trying to woo FIOS customers with free TVs and digital cameras, but if they can’t provide even the most basic customer service, it’s not going to be worth a damn in a few years. Hell, if they can’t even bill legitimate charges, maybe they should establish themselves as a charitable organization and enjoy the tax benefits.

So thanks again to everyone who kept up with my story – I appreciate all the readers, commenters, and emailers. I am sorry it ended with a thud, but I hope you enjoyed some of the stories along the way. If anything does happen, I will be sure to update the blog, but I wouldn’t hold your breath. And speaking of charitable organizations, I took the $23.65 I should have paid Verizon plus the meager $2.23 I earned through Google Ads, and donated it to my favorite charity – a small victory for the good guys.

4/2 Second Update: My "Final Bill"

2008-04-02T16:02:00.003-04:00

Perhaps it is just a coincidence, and I shouldn't flatter myself to assume that Verizon is reading my blog, but I received a follow-up email from my contact in executive support just a few minutes ago. Here's what I got:

So they are unable to send me a final bill. Oh well. I can beat this dead horse a million times, but if they can't invoice me, I certainly can't pay the $23.65 that I owe them (I had service for nearly a week after the period that my last payment was for). So in lieu of a real bill, they sent me a PDF copy of an invoice with my name, address, and a final balance of zero. Great, I guess that's that. Sure took a ridiculous amount of my time (since early February) to arrive at this answer, though.

I suspect Verizon is going to take another look at their billing system as a result of this. They seem physically and technically unable to send a final bill. Surely, I can't be the only guy who experienced this issue. Are they just forgoing any outstanding balances on peoples' accounts? Or am I just one in a million?

So to close the loop with the woman in executive support, I gave her a quick call this afternoon to thank her for spending the time looking into this issue. One last time I asked if there was any chance that someone was going formally apologize for this whole ordeal - I told her I certainly don't need or necessarily deserve one, but given the level of attention I have received, I assumed there might be a more formal response. Especially since this final bill thing was just the icing on the cake.

4/2 Update: A Missed Opportunity

2008-04-02T11:30:00.002-04:00

I really missed the boat on the whole April Fools thing yesterday. I could have made this big, triumphant post about how I had received my bill and a little explanation of what happened (even though I didn't). Maybe I could have gotten a little rouse out of people.

Still waiting though...I think it's been at least 10 days since I had a conversation with the nice woman in executive support. 10 days was the same timeframe for a final bill that I was given when I initially canceled my service. Something just doesn't make sense here.

3/31 Update: World Events Since I Canceled FIOS

2008-03-31T21:25:00.003-04:00

Sorry about the recent lull - nothing new to report on my issue. Still waiting on that pesky bill and perhaps a better understanding of what caused this mess. In the meantime, I was noodling something today that you might find amusing:

World events that have occurred since I canceled my FIOS service (effective February 11th)…

1) NASA conducted nearly TWO full space shuttle missions (the first began on 2/7 to be exact), including the longest mission EVER to the International Space Station (ISS). The record-breaking mission covered 6.6 million miles, and included a remarkable 5 spacewalks.

2) Bon Jovi performed 20 shows on his current Lost Highway tour, including tonight’s show in Denver.

3) Bear Stearns stock dropped from around $80 to about $2 a share, before rebounding to the “hefty” price of around $10.

4) The Houston Rockets racked up 18 of their 22 consecutive victories – the second longest streak in NBA history. Ironically, the streak began on the date of my missed phone installation (1/27).

5) American Idol progressed from “Hollywood Week” on February 12^th to the “Top 9” this week.

6) The earth experienced the vernal equinox, a total eclipse of the moon, and the official switch to Spring (or Fall for those readers in Australia).

7) Former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer allegedly met with “Client-9” in Washington DC, the incident became public, Spitzer resigned, and David Patterson was sworn in.

I am sure there are plenty that I missed. Perhaps you have some other suggestions…

3/28 - Update on My Cube Neighbor

2008-03-28T14:54:00.004-04:00

So I have been keeping you moderately informed about my cube neighbor, who is enduring a similar type of debacle with FIOS . I described it briefly in my first post, and a bit more in detail here. He is still waiting on them to issue the credits that he has been promised numerous times. Remember the lady who claimed she would come into the office on Sunday to email him? Yeah, right, that certainly didn't happen.

He told me that he spent 4 hours on the phone with Verizon this morning, and was bounced around more times than he can remember - it's a billing problem, how many different departments need to be involved to handle that? In typical fashion, nothing was resolved and the "resolution" is that he will be contacted by a supervisor. Hopefully that will work out for him.

He has already threatened to cancel his services, but they retaliate with the promise of a hefty early termination fee. So what is the guy supposed to do? Continue to spend hours at a time trying to resolve this? Give up on the credits he has been promised, but not provided? Cancel his service and incur a penalty? It's a pretty shitty place to be.

I don't even know enough of the story to know if his problem is legitimate or not, but I do know that customer service representatives should be able to handle these issues. This is pretty basic stuff.

I don't know if they track "first call resolution" stats at their call centers, but if they do, they are probably close to zero. Unless a disconnect or a "promised call back" qualifies as resolution. Since I am in "wait and see" mode with my issue, I figured I'd give his issue some airtime, too.

Traffic Update: Is Anyone Still Watching?

2008-03-27T23:07:00.008-04:00

Is anyone still watching this? Apparently the answer is a resounding yes. As of yesterday, the total site traffic is over 18,000 visits and nearly 25,000 page views.

Obviously, since the Bill Simmons article that mentioned this blog on ESPN.com left their mainpage, site traffic has gone down. In the past week, we have had "only" 2,100 pageviews.

And yet why am I so happy about this? "Most people last visited: 0 days ago." Of the 1,414 visits in the past week, nearly 1,200 of those visits occurred in the past day...which means people are really paying attention to this blog.

Whether it's Verizon checking up on my situation, interested consumers, or just random perverts, prone to typos, who searched google for "sexperience" (it's in the blog address, which I didn't realize until after I started this thing) and accidentally stumbled onto my blog, I am glad to see that people are checking up on my progress.

OT: Being the nerd that I am, I have been watching the college basketball games on mute while listening to this guy's experience with customer service reps quoting Verizon wireless rates. It's very long, but very hilarious. I think this guy and I could share some stories.

3/27: A Phone Call From Verizon

2008-03-27T20:27:00.003-04:00

Oddly enough, I got a phone call from Verizon a few minutes ago - from a call center supervisor. Apparently, this call was totally unrelated to the current folks who are trying to resolve my issue. It was in response to the email reply I sent when they started quoting me the December bill, after all the other confusing emails I have written about ad nauseum. The old "I feel like I am talking to a block of wood" comment, I suppose.

She called me on my cell phone, so obviously there is record of at least some of my requests for returned calls back in January/February. My cell phone was one of the two numbers I routinely provided when looking for a return phone call.

She hadn't had a chance to peruse my blog, and asked how she could be of assistance. I told her that other folks within the organization were dealing with my issue, but at this point, the more the merrier. Perhaps they are making up for lost time. Killing me with kindness. So I gave her the quick 10 minute version of my ordeal while she tried to keep pace taking notes on my issue. She apologized for the inconvenience and hoped that they could resolve my issue to the point that I would reconsider Verizon at some point. I told her that wasn't in the cards, but it would still be nice to part ways cordially - an amicable divorce.

On the issue of my final bill, she indicated that she was planning to credit me the remaining balance but still send me a copy of a final bill for my records. I maintained my position that I want to pay my final bill come hell or high water. That's been my intent all along, and I have bent over backwards to do so (after I bent over backwards trying to ADD service, of course). I do not want a credit for the amount on my final bill. Twenty-three bucks and change is not point.

With the understanding that I still wanted to pay my final bill, she asked what would satisfy my concerns. I asked again for an email or letter from someone explaining how this whole situation happened, and giving some indication that this is not how Verizon wants to treat its customers. I may never quite understand how we got to this point. It certainly wasn't my intent. But given the level of support this blog has received, I think I, and the folks still following along, deserve some type of resolution. She agreed, and said that she would pass that along.

As we wrapped up, I reiterated that other folks within Verizon are working on my issue (per the comment on the blog yesterday - I am happy to hear that we are nearing the end of this saga), and that I didn't want her spinning her wheels since it is already being taken care of. She certainly doesn't need my advice, but I suggested that she might want to focus on other escalations that might not be getting the level of attention that mine now is. She gave me her phone number in case I needed any other assistance, and we bid each other a good night.

Quick 3/26 Update: No Progress

2008-03-26T11:40:00.002-04:00

So I had the conversation with someone in "Executive Support" on Friday, and I have heard nothing since (it's Wednesday). During our conversation, she indicated that she realized that there were some serious system issues in play, particularly related to my account. Knowing that, you would think I would have heard something by now. Even a courtesy email saying "yeah everything is still screwed up, as you would expect, but I am still working on your issue." But now my confidence is waning, and my blood pressure is rising.

Open Questions for Verizon

2008-03-25T00:06:00.003-04:00

1) If I had not returned the equipment, to a location I had to seek out after starting this blog, after you botched my cancellation and after REPEATED attempts to get the shipping labels you promised TWICE!!!, would you have charged me $1000+ for failing to return my equipment? Would I have gone through even more hassle to get my money back than I have experienced to pay my current charges??? My coworker went through hell when you charged him $1000+, even after your technician picked them up in person, so I can't imagine what my experience would have been like. Let me guess: A promised callback within 24 hours that never materialized.

2) Am I accruing late charges on the bill I know I should have been sent, yet you continue to dispute? You haven't demonstrated the ability to send me a bill in the first place, so what should I expect now? Why the hell am I arguing with you about sending money? You are a for-profit business, right?

3) Will this final bill, that your customer "service" representatives continue to say doesn't exist, ever go to collections? I am bending over backwards because I know I must owe you something, and you keep saying there is no bill. Will you try to mess with my credit report?

4) How does someone resolve escalated issues? I contacted the Director of Media Relations, and my issue still isn't resolved.

I am sure I have a lot more, but these are the big ones off the top of my head.

"Can You Hear Me Now?"

2008-03-24T22:47:00.005-04:00

Nearly 23,000 pageviews, folks. Thanks so much. It doesn't seem like anyone at Verizon has heard enough to formally respond to my issues, but maybe someday they will.
Obviously, the Sports Guy was this site's big break, but I think I still have a group of folks that really want to see how this plays out.

Poll #1 Results: Verizon's Customer Service is Atrocious

2008-03-24T21:35:00.008-04:00

With over 600 votes tallied, my informal poll recorded that a majority of voters think Verizon's customer service is "atrocious." Better yet, if you exclude those who "haven't dealt with them," nearly 70% of people think Verizon's customer service is "atrocious." Throw "bad" in there and you are at 85%. That's nearly as unpopular as a kick to the groin - That's a poll that I conducted a few weeks ago - my friend punched me in the groin 100 times, and I hated it all 100 times.

I don't know what all of these people are mad at. It's not like a Verizon employee pulled a knife on them. Yikes.

3/24 Again: "We Would Like to Work With You"

2008-03-24T12:04:00.005-04:00

So I sent a flippant reply to the email I got this morning. Here's what I wrote:

It's like I am talking to a piece of wood. Do you have any clue how much I have been through to finalize my account with you folks? My December payment is not in any way relevant to this conversation.

And now they are willing to work with me? The zillion other folks I dealt with through standard channels were completely unwilling to do. I guess I just needed to use terms that people can relate to. I'll post the response below, but the customer service representative asked for a brief summary of "what I would like them to do to resolve the situation." My response was pretty darn simple, and it should have been self-explanatory given the amount of communication I have had with these folks.

1) I want a correct answer regarding my final balance.
2) I want a copy of my final bill.
3) I want an apology from someone at corporate.

Update 3/24: More Nonsense

2008-03-24T10:55:00.004-04:00

The latest bozo to step up to the plate was someone named "Tracy" in the customer service department. She was apparently responding to one of my emails early last week. Apparently, she got in her crappily functioning time machine and brought me back to December 12, 2007! Perhaps their time machine manufacturer is the same company that made their accounting system.

She said "Our records indicate you do not have a balance on your Verizon FiOS final account. We show a final payment of $118.79 on December 12, 2007 paid the account in full." What the hell does my December payment have to do with the price of tea in China? So this is my second email from Verizon saying that I have no final balance, when we know that I had service for a week beyond the last amount I paid.

I know that at least a few people at Verizon are aware of this blog. You would think that they would have sent an all-hands memo saying "STOP SAYING STUPID SHIT TO THIS GUY, PLEASE!!!!"

I am really interested to know what would happen if hadn't pursued this final bill. Would it have gone to collections? Would I have at least received something showing that my account was delinquent?

PS: If I hear "we appreciate your business" one more time, I am going to come home and scream at my houseplants.

3/22: Somewhat off-topic update

2008-03-21T14:20:00.003-04:00

No wonder my coworker is having problems with rates that don't agree with what he was quoted when he signed up.

Check out this article about a guy who called Verizon Wireless a hilarious 56 times. Basically he asked two very basic questions about his rate plan, and only 1 customer service representative out of 56 answered both questions correctly!!! Some of the answers are just downright retarded. It's like the reps just make shit up. A training issue, indeed.

The video had me in tears. I know Verizon Wireless isn't exactly the same as the group that services FIOS, but apparently they have the same stunningly low level of competence.

3/21 Update: My Conversation with Executive Support

2008-03-21T12:08:00.012-04:00

This morning, I had a nice conversation with a woman in "Executive Support" for my region. She has taken ownership of this issue, and has promised to see it through to completion. Ultimately, I still plan to pursue this through Verizon Corporate, as I think there are a lot of takeaways from my experience.

We were on the phone for nearly 45 minutes, so I won't remember everything, but here are the highlights:

1) It is going to be very difficult for Verizon to track my issues back to the specific representatives who I spoke with during my long ordeal. Apparently account tracking, particularly for TV and Internet customers only, is particularly lacking. It sounds like they have a bunch of different systems, and none of them seem to get along with each other. That being said...

2) The woman indicated that if I had been a "Freedom Bundle" customer, I would have been in much better shape. Ironically, that's exactly what I was trying to do! I was trying to add the darn phone line so that I would have been. Oh well, c'est la vie.

3) Turns out, Verizon would never have been able to port my old phone number from Vonage. She indicated that within 2 minutes of knowing my existing phone number and address, the representative should have known that it wouldn't work. She acknowledged that halfway through my battle I said that I didn't care about my phone number anyway, and that they should have been able to cancel the order and start a new one for a randomly assigned phone number. Another missed opportunity for Verizon to fix my issue down the drain.

4) What ever happened to the 2 rounds of shipping labels that I was promised? Well it turns out the lady who canceled my account indicated that I wanted a technician to pickup the equipment. That lady must be hard of hearing, because in no uncertain terms, I said that Verizon techs were not welcome in my house. Oddly enough, when the service representative selects the option for "technician pickup," she is supposed to schedule the appointment window (4 hours of course). Obviously that never happened. Such a basic thing, but one of the many deceptive moves by Verizon...

5) All this deception...Why was I never given a single returned phone call that I was promised? Why did someone say they were sending me shipping labels (twice), and then input the order as a technician pickup? Why did someone promise me an email at 6:30pm when the call center closes at 6:00pm? Why did someone promise to email my coworker on a SUNDAY, when obviously customer service isn't even open on Sunday? The whole thing makes absolutely no sense. I suggested there might be a rogue call center that gets their "jollies" from making the most asinine promises just to get people off the phone. At some point, you think something sounds so ridiculous that you couldn't possibly make it up, right? Wrong. This is the issue that still makes me the most frustrated.

6) Apparently the problems I was having with the online payment apps was 1) because my account was FIOS and not another Verizon product and 2) final bills are apparently more complicated than standard bills. Either way, if that's the case, write that in the error message!! Save yourself a bunch of confused calls to the call center! It's certainly cheaper to address these issues over the web than to handle phone calls. Verizon doesn't seem to get that.

7) She disputes the "15 minute average handle time" mandate that was chronicled in the article on Consumerist.com.

8) She was absolutely flabbergasted that I got a bill in a handwritten envelope. She said she couldn't actually believe it until she saw the picture.

9) Obviously she is a Verizon employee, so she can't come out and say it, but I get the sense she fully enjoyed my blog.

10) I'll add more things as I remember them.

Apparently this nice woman tried to send me my bill last night. Well it didn't work, and she acknowledged that it seems their system is broken. In fact, I might be getting a copy of a January bill in the mail soon with a -$0.06 balance (which will obviously be another hilarious post). She shared the same frustration with their billing system that I have. There is seemingly no way to view, download, or print any bill after January. I jokingly suggested that she try calling their call center to see if anyone knew what the deal is, but we all know that would be a waste of her time. Besides, she wants to have a "Good Friday," right?

She mentioned that she and her colleagues were discussing how it might make sense to just credit my account for the amount of the final bill and be done with me. But having read my blog, they know that I am actually ENTHUSIASTIC about paying my final bill, even if I have to mail it directly to the CEO's office.

So here's where I am at. This very nice woman has promised to track down this final bill and get it sent out (fancy paper, return envelope, the whole nine yards). I ~~truly~~ kinda believe that she will get this figured out.

But I really feel like I want more out of this. Throughout our conversation, she kept refering to my situation as an opportunity to address training issues. She referred to individual training issues, while I contend that given the number of people that I have spoken with, this is an epidemic of bad service and useless billing/customer tracking systems.

Also, as a training tool, I think my blog could be motivation for call center employees - "The Power of One." If just one of the folks that I spoke with had stepped up to the plate and solved my issue, I would be in a very different position right now. In fact, I would have likely been so relieved, that I would have sent a letter to Verizon corporate indicating how this one "superstar" had solved my issue. Can you imagine how happy that person would have been if he/she received a phone call from Mr Seidenberg commending his/her efforts? That employees enthusiasm for providing service would have resonated through that entire call center. Instead, everyone chose to pass the ball and make my issue someone else's problem. Frankly, if Mr Seidenberg wants the name of someone to commend, I will gladly pass along the contact information of the woman I spoke with today.

Along those lines, a question I asked that so far cannot be answered is: What could I have done differently to resolve this quicker - to get that phone installed, or to return my equipment quickly, or to pay my final bill promptly? What resources does a Verizon customer have when ALL attempts to go through the proper channels have failed? Heck, I had to go through the Director of Media Relations just to track down someone who could help me get a copy of a bill. Surely, it is in no one's best interest for that to seem like the only viable option. People should not have to deal with this type of terrible service. Can you imagine those folks who live in apartment buildings where they have no choice? Makes me sick.

As we wrapped up, I indicated that I planned to escalate my remaining concerns to the Corporate Headquarters in New York. While I expect to have my final bill issue resolved by then, I think my story needs to be considered by the highest levels of management at Verizon, both for Verizon's sake and the sake of their customers. Basic stuff, man...Figure out the call routing system. Empower customer service reps to help people. Make your web applications work, or at least explain why they don't. Provide an outlet for people who have escalated issues.

So for now, thanks to the nice woman I spoke with today. You seem to be the "light at the end of the tunnel." I look forward to hearing from you again.

3/20 Update: The Reponse Through the Standard Channel

2008-03-20T18:24:00.011-04:00

So I think I just got the response to the email I sent to the standard customer service email address the other day. Not quite 1 business day, but close enough.

Obviously, this person never read my email or my blog. I am way past the point of logging onto my account and printing my bill, but I'll try it for like the zillionth time anyway. As usual, my current account status says "no payment necessary." It obviously hasn't been updated in months...

But maybe I can download and print the latest bill, as the email suggests...

How many times do I need to beat this dead horse? IT'S NOT THERE! You'd think that my suggestion to escalate the matter would have been considered, but apparently not.

Luckily, since I contacted the Director of Media Relations, I think my issue may be reviewed by someone who can help me. I got an email a few minutes ago from a woman in "Executive Support" in my region. At least I am dealing with specific people now. I plan to touch base with her tomorrow. I asked that she kindly review this blog, so that she understands that I am way past a few "inconveniences."

Ultimately, I am hoping an email I can post to finalize this story for everyone, but at this point, I will take what I can get.

3/20 Update: Contact!

2008-03-20T14:04:00.002-04:00

I just received a very cordial email from the Director of Media Relations. She indicated that her staff was looking into my situation and would get back to me. Her email was particularly friendly, and very apologetic. I hope to have this resolved soon.

3/20: A Bill Sighting (But Not Mine)!!!

2008-03-20T11:50:00.007-04:00

So remember my buddy at work who had agreed on rates and then his bill was WAY over the agreed package? This isn't a case of not expecting standard taxes and fees, either. His story is #2 in this post.

Reached for an interview just minutes ago, my cube neighbor provided the following update: "I originally received a monthly bill for $174. I have contacted them many times to discuss the discrepancy from what I was quoted months ago. Each time, they claim to recognize the issue and promise to fix it. Most recently, a woman promised to credit my account (prorated over two months for some odd reason) and confirm the correction via email. In fact, she said she would come into the office last Sunday to do that! Wow. That seemed odd to me, but perhaps she was going above and beyond the call of duty to help me out. Well it's Thursday, and I haven't heard anything."

A few things:
1) How the heck is he spending $174 on basic FIOS phone and TV service (no internet)? He was quoted in the neighborhood of $80 plus taxes and fees.
2) Does his story of incompetent service and missed return communications sound familiar?

But today's discussion with my cube buddy was groundbreaking for another reason. HE HAS A VERIZON BILL!!! One that actually looks like a bill!!! And it came with a payment coupon and a return envelope!!! Why the hell can't I get one of those? I have been working my butt off to get one of those for months?

Unlike those unsubstantiated claims of the Loch Ness monster, I actually have proof of the Verizon bill sighting. BEHOLD!!!!

Notice all the distinguishing features of the bill:
1) The colorful logo
2) "Bill-like" paper
3) A clearly defined "Pay To Address" - And for the record, the "Pay To Address" on his bill is not the same as the unmarked, random address that was printed on my half-assed bill. So you see why I would be concerned sending a payment there with no payment coupon or return envelope, given all my troubles?
4) Multiple months worth of bills - A sure sign on ongoing issues.
5) Countless post-it notes and scribbles - These are my cube neighbor's "battle scars" from all the phone conversations with Verizon's customer service line.

Maybe one day, if I find someone who is able to help me, I can refer my cube neighbor to him/her for some assistance.

3/20 Update: Email Sent to Director of Media Relations

2008-03-20T11:06:00.002-04:00

I did not receive a response through the standard email channel, so I sent an email to the Director of Media Relations at Verizon requesting "escalated assistance." I got an out of office reply that the person only has intermittent access to email today, so I might not get a response very quickly. That's fine. Coupled with the holiday weekend, I might not hear anything until next week.

I will keep you updated.

3/19 @ 9:15pm: The "Pay Final Bill" Link

2008-03-19T21:19:00.009-04:00

I am not sure which current event has me more riled up tonight:
1) I found Verizon's useless "Pay Final Bill" link, or
2) Carly Smithson is in tonight's American Idol "Bottom 3."

So here's the deal. I was poking around Verizon's website yet again to retry their "pay online" disaster. I think I went a different route this time, because the login screen was a bit different. So I tried to login using the username and password that allows me access to My Account on Verizon.com (the screen that shows me a "Current Balance" of $0.00 and an "Amount Billed" of -$0.06).
The response was that my account wasn't able to access this application (although I CAN log into the My Account part of Verizon.com, mind you). But perhaps I discovered a new path to resolution.

There is a link for those paying a "past due" final bill. The paper bill that I received the other day says "late fees may apply if the "Total Due [$9.61, the internet portion] is not received by Mar 16, 2008" so I should be in good shape, right? It's March 19, I disconnected service on Feb 11, and this bill "re"print is dated Feb 16. I am the perfect candidate!

So I enter my account information...

And as usual, Verizon demonstrates that it is unable to provide even the most basic service. I get some freaking error message that "my account information cannot be verified at this time." Well when exactly can it be verified? When hell freezes over? How does this company have revenue?

Of course I clicked the "Contact Us" link and it leads me to the same channels I have attempted to utilize countless times. You remember the one that got me an email that said something along the lines of "my final bill is $0.00 and they can't give me a copy of it" just a few days ago? Please.

Seriously, this situation is beyond words at this point. Tomorrow I intend to contact the Director of Media Relations at Verizon and the Better Business Bureau.

Late breaking update: Carly is safe. The Rockin' Nurse was kicked off American Idol tonight.

3/19: Google Ads is Spot On!

2008-03-19T21:05:00.002-04:00

This Google Ads thing is a lot smarter than I thought!!! How did they know that I needed to "Learn How to Pay [My] Bills Online?"
Developing: I found a link that specifically says "Pay Final Bill." Could this be a breakthrough?
(Hint: No)

3/19: Funny Sidenote on Google Ads

2008-03-19T16:42:00.005-04:00

After publishing that last post, I scrolled down to the "context based" Google ads on the right side of the page and had to chuckle. I thought they were very appropriate given my situation!!

For the record, my google ad revenue this week is a whopping $0.45.

3/19 Update: Waiting on Reponse

2008-03-19T16:28:00.002-04:00

I have not received a response to the email I sent yesterday. I received an automated response and tracking number indicating that I would hear back from them within 1 business day, but no follow-up yet. I am waiting until tomorrow before pursuing this further.

If I don't hear back, I plan to email the Director of Media Relations in charge of "Video Services and FIOS TV." I understand that this woman may not be the right person to contact, but given the amount of attention and support I have received, I hope that she will consider escalating my issue to an appropriate level of executive leadership.

Another creative idea that I have is to go through Investor Relations. There are specific contacts listed for "Shareholder Services." It might be worth buying 1 share of Verizon stock to "get my foot in the door." It would cost me $24 in roundtrip commision, but it's worth it to me. As a shareholder, I would even get an invite to the annual shareholders meeting. That might be a good opportunity to meet an executive who could help me.

I also have the contact information for the Better Business Bureau in my area. That's another avenue I will pursue.

Finally, it is time to bid farewell to our endorsement from The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons. He has updated the mainpage of ESPN.com with a fresh article this week. I can't thank him enough for bringing all this attention to my blog. My 15 minutes of fame on ESPN may be up, but I will continue to pursue this.

3/19 Quick Update

2008-03-19T08:48:00.002-04:00

Site traffic is now over 19,000 hits, and we have been seen in 64 countries.

I've got a bunch of stuff going on today, so I am not sure I'll be able to post many updates. I received a tracking number for my "issue" submitted by email yesterday, so I hope to hear something soon.

And as an FYI, the web payment application is still displaying the same error.

3/18 Update: Another Email Sent to Verizon

2008-03-18T15:49:00.003-04:00

Here's a copy of the email I just sent to Verizon's customer service email address. I am hoping that it gets escalated to the appropriate people who can help me.

Subject: Request for escalated assistance

Respectfully, I would like to bring to your attention my blog (http://fiosexperience.blogspot.com), which recounts my ongoing, seemingly endless saga with your company. It has received a surprising amount of web traffic in the past few weeks, and many people seem to share my frustration.

I was a FIOS TV and Internet customer for approximately 6 months. In January 2008, I scheduled an appointment to have the FIOS phone service installed as well. That appointment never materialized. After weeks of trying to reschedule that appointment (including hours on the phone, broken promises of return phone calls, and a complete lack of resolution), I canceled my FIOS TV and Internet services in protest. This created even more of a headache than my initial issue, and I am still unable to pay my final bill and bid farewell to Verizon. I have exhausted every conceivable channel, and now find myself at the end of my rope.

I won't bother going into further detail in this email, since it's all on the blog, but I would appreciate any help you could provide. I think that my concern should be escalated to an appropriate level of executive leadership.

I apologize in advance for the "stream of consciousness" nature of my posts. They were never intended for an executive audience. I was merely trying to document my experience when it became apparent that my issues could lead to disputed charges and further hassle.

For your reference, my customer information is as follows:

[Removed]

Thank you for your time.

Respectfully,

3/18: Site Traffic Update

2008-03-18T12:50:00.005-04:00

Just a quick update on site traffic. We crossed the 15,000 hit mark last night. This blog has now been seen by people in all 50 states, and 57 countries around the world. Woot!!! But apparently someone from Verizon who can help me has yet to see it.

And for the record, the "Pay My Bill" online tool is still "experiencing difficulties." Aren't we all?

Final 3/17 Update: Why Not, Right?

2008-03-17T21:45:00.003-04:00

Just checking to see if the online payment link is up and running, and of course it is not. Luckily, though, the banner ads on Verizon.net continue to update so I will be able to find an old classmate online or save money on my car insurance while I am waiting for some resolution on my bill.

Is this really their portal? I think a 5 year old with a MySpace page could come up with something more aesthetically pleasing (and functional).

3/17 Again: I Got a Letter from Verizon FIOS!

2008-03-17T18:35:00.004-04:00

I came home today to find a letter from Verizon FIOS. The envelope said "Enclosed: Important information regarding your TV & Internet service." Being the ultimate optimist, I actually thought this could be my big break. Heck, even if it was a "late fee" notice, at least it would have a return envelope, right?

Hook, line, and sinker.

It was a damn promotional mailing from FIOS. The first sentence was "want more from your Internet, TV, and phone service?" Well yes, I did. From you, Verizon. Best of all, they are offering a free digital camera for signing up (since their free TV promo was apparently a debacle). When I signed up, all I got was "the runaround," high blood pressure, and the urge to jump off the roof of my house.

I am going to add this to my list of things I would like: I want Verizon to remove me from their promotional mailing list. It just makes me more mad.

What Do I Want Out of This?

2008-03-17T17:01:00.003-04:00

A few people have asked what I am trying to get out of this.

Most importantly, as I have demonstrated countless times, I would like to pay my final balance with Verizon with confidence that the money is properly applied to my account.

Second, I would love a written explanation of what caused my ridiculous ordeal and an apology from someone at Verizon. This is certainly not critical, but I'd love to know a bit more about a few things...

1) What happened to my phone installation? Why did no one show up in the first place? Why was I unable to reschedule after weeks of phone calls?

2) What happened to all my promised return phone calls? Literally weeks of promised calls that were never returned.

3) Why did I never receive the two sets of shipping labels I was promised to return my equipment after I cancelled? Obviously, I would have been charged a hefty sum if I had not tracked down a drop-off location on my own. That happened to a co-worker of mine, and it’s basically a trap situation – do exactly what you are told, and we will still penalize you to the tune of $1000+.

4) Why did I not receive a final bill, and why did it seem like such an outlandish request when I called to inquire about it?

5) What is the deal with your phone system? Why does the call router seem to place you in whatever queue it chooses rather than the one you ask for? I think most of us would prefer to wait on hold rather than talk to someone who has no chance of providing assistance.

Finally, I hope that Verizon considers my ordeal when considering their customer service function in the future.

I am not sure who to contact at this point, but any suggestions would be appreciated (shareyourserviceexperience@gmail.com). I really don't know where to go from here.

It's 3/17 Still: I Am Not Trying to Register Again

2008-03-17T13:28:00.006-04:00

For the record, there is a link that says you can register for online access to your account. I already have access (that's where the -$0.06 comes from), and I am not trying again. It says you need a temporary PIN and service telephone number provided by Verizon. Obviously, I don't have either one, so I am not going to bother trying.
I am pretty much at a dead end at this point.

4pm Update: The online payment application is still down. Same error message as posted in an earlier post today.

3rd 3/17 Update: Payment by Web @ Verizon.net

2008-03-17T13:10:00.009-04:00

My first impression of Verizon.net is that it is a spam site, with just a ridiculous number of banner ads for a legit company. There are more ads than content on the page, and navigation is a nightmare.. On the bright side, I can buy some stuff on Ebay, get a new job with CareerBuilder, refinance my loan with Ditech, and plan a vacation on Orbitz all from one convenient launch page. All are great vendors, but that's certainly not why I am visiting Verizon.net. I just want to pay my bill.

So I logged on using my existing account name and password, and it still says "Amount Billed = -$0.06" and "Current Balance = $0.00." That's no help.

So I tried to use the pay online link, and enter my account information, including account number, billing zip code, and bill date. Success. Just kidding, FAILURE. I get the following message: "We are currently experiencing difficulties with this payment application. Please try again later or use an alternate method of payment. We apologize for the inconvenience."
Absolutely amazing. What alternative method would you recommend? The $3.50 service charges that may or may not actually post to my account? The customer support line that is 100% useless? This makes for great blog fodder, but it's just downright asinine. Keep in mind that just a few days ago, I got an email saying my bill was $0.00 but they couldn't provide any further documentation of that. Lame.

2nd 3/17 Update: Trying to Pay My Bill by Phone

2008-03-17T13:06:00.002-04:00

So I tried the toll free number the customer service rep mentioned in my conversation earlier today. Turns out that phone number charges a $3.50 convenience fee. Well let's just say that this whole ordeal has been anything but convenient, and there is no chance in hell I am paying a service fee to pay my bill. Furthermore, since I was given two separate bills (with separate account numbers), I assume I would have to pay TWO convenience fees.

Another gripe...when you go through the prompts and enter your account number, it asks "how much would you like to pay?" I would like to know "how much do I owe," since that would give me some indication that my payment will be linked to the proper account.

The teleprompter recommended Verizon.net (where I already have a logon), so I'll try there again. Last I checked, it was the old -$0.06 bit.

3/17 Update: A Bill and a Phone Nightmare!

2008-03-17T12:08:00.010-04:00

This is going to be a long update, so buckle up. First of all, I wanted to give a quick site traffic update. As of last night, we have had nearly 9,000 page views. Just amazing. Thanks again Sports Guy, his readers and Darius from Brooklyn.

On to my FIOS update:

So I finally got a copy of a final bill. Two of them, actually. One for the Internet service and one for the TV service. The total comes to $14.04 + $9.61 = $23.65. It's a wacky series of positive and negative numbers that Einstein couldn't decipher. But hey, it's that magical $23.65 number that Tiffany figured out, so I might as well trust it.

But talk about a budget operation – the bill came in a handwritten Verizon envelope that contained 9 pages of printer paper that someone obviously printed out from a random PC. Not your standard "bill" type letterhead. The envelope contained no payment coupon, no return envelope, and only a random PO Box address that does not indicate that it is, in fact, a payment address. Furthermore, it lists the 3 cable boxes and wireless router, saying that if I don’t return them, I will be charged. Keep in mind I returned those weeks ago. Finally, the $14.04 bill says it was due March 11, 2008 and the $9.61 bill says it is due "upon receipt." I assume I am now accruing late charges, despite my best efforts.

Bottom line, this bill is a complete clusterduck, and I am not sending money without a payment coupon, or even confirmation that I have the right address. In all of my phone conversations, no one has been able to properly identify my account or my bill, so I have no confidence that a random mail opener would be able to do that. In the meantime, I am once again trying to exhaust every available channel to pay my bill.

So this morning, I embarked on a typically disastrous phone ordeal in an attempt to pay my final bill over the phone and be done with Verizon. Here’s what happened…

1) I called the phone number on the bill, selected “Billing and Payments,” then “FIOS.” I waited on hold for about 15 minutes and was connected to a representative. I asked if he could help me with payment of my final FIOS bill, and he said yes. So I gave him a quick recap of my situation and said that I wanted to settle up. His response was that he was in “DSL Customer Service” and couldn’t help me. Then why did he say he could when I asked if he could help with a FIOS payment? Ugh. He said he would transfer me to the right department, but asked if I had any final questions he could help me with related to DSL. Why the hell would I have questions about DSL? I never had a DSL account.

2) So I go back on hold for 10 minutes.

3) My transfer was answered by a fellow in Customer “Service.” I explained my story to him, and he said that he couldn’t help me “because he was in Massachusetts.” How the heck is that relevant? So he assured me he would transfer me to the right department.

4) I then got connected to “Sales and Service,” but not for FIOS. So now that bozo transfered me.

5) Back on hold for another 5 minutes, but at least the hold music/announcement referenced FIOS, so I figured I was on the right track.

6) I get picked up by another fellow. I explained my story, and he said he couldn’t help me. By this point, I was getting a bit steamed. Sensing my displeasure, he quickly put me on hold and dumped me into another queue. I never figured out what department he was in.

7) Then I was on hold for “Customer Financial Services.”

8) I explained my story to the woman who answered. She said she didn’t actually handle customer payments, but she would try to help me. What exactly is the definition of Customer Financial Services? After thinking for a while, she gave up. She said “she didn’t know what number to give me and didn’t know how someone could pay over the phone.”

Then she explained another irregularity on my account. She said somehow my FIOS Internet and TV service was being billed through my telephone account. I told her I never had a freaking telephone with Verizon, so how is that possible? She didn’t know, so she said she would transfer me.

9) So back on hold, and dumped into a queue for “Verizon Online DSL.” I selected residential customer and was put on hold for a representative.

10) The lady who answered was able to pull up my Internet account, but she said she did not see my TV account. She suggested a pay by phone number, but didn’t think it would work because of the confusion with my account numbers, etc. Instead, she said she would get someone on the line who could help me. In fact, she would prep him/her with the details so I didn’t have to go through the whole ordeal. Great.

11) So I get placed on hold again for about 5 minutes.

12) THE PHONE DISCONNECTS!!!!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!!! MY HEART IS READY TO EXPLODE!!!!

So once again, I have wasted another hour of my life trying to pay my final bill. I am not calling them back. This is just ridiculous. I have bent over backwards trying to resolve this properly, and I just keep getting screwed with.

I really don’t know what to do next. On the one hand, it seems ludicrous that I am spending all this time trying to PAY THEM. My time is worth a heck of a lot more than the measly $23.65 that I supposedly owe them. And frankly, I don’t think they are physically capable of sending it to collections, so perhaps the whole thing will just go away. But I really want some resolution on this. I deserve a very big “I AM SORRY” from Verizon.

Updated 3/19 for pic of the final bill. Sorry it's a bad pic, I only have my phone available to take one. A handwritten envelope, a bunch of printer paper, no payment coupon, no return address.

Second 3/15 Update: A Sports Guy Reader Figures Out My Bill!!!

2008-03-15T16:08:00.004-04:00

Who other than The Sports Guy could find someone to decipher my "Bill?"

Tiffany, an avid reader of The Sports Guy who saw my blog, sent me an email today that seems to solve the riddle of my final bill. She was nice enough to say that I had probably figured it out by now, but since I am a math dummy, I obviously hadn't. Here's the deal, apparently...

What do $9.61, $14.10, $0.00 and -$0.06 all have in common? Other than the fact that they were all separate quotes I was given for my final bill? Well if you add them all up, you get that other quote I got for my final bill...$23.65! That sounds about right for the week or so of prorated monthly service, but I just want the piece of paper that says that.

In the meantime, many thanks to Tiffany!

3/15 Update: THANKS Sports Guy and "Darius from Brooklyn!"

2008-03-15T15:34:00.006-04:00

I woke up this morning to a huge flood of traffic to the site. Turns out my good buddy Darius from Brooklyn aka "The B.K." submitted my blog to Bill Simmons this week, who was kind enough to link it in his article.

So thanks to The Sports Guy's huge readership, this blog has gotten some amazing looks. How many looks you might ask? How about over 4,000 pageviews from over 3,000 visitors just last night? Amazing. And I certainly appreciate the folks that took the time to write comments as well.
Hopefully all those folks will consider my story when choosing a TV/Internet/Wireless provider. And hopefully Verizon will make changes in the future so that others don't share the same fate.

No updates on the situation since my last post, but I will be sure to keep everyone updated. I am just trying to get a final bill, pay it, and bid Verizon farewell.

P.S. - As a special favor to my buddy Darius, who is a long-suffering Atlanta Falcons fan...if Arthur Blank (Falcons Owner) happened to be one of the 3,000+ visitors last night, would you please swing a deal for a franchise quarterback? I don't think Darius can endure another year of football failure.

Great article on Consumerist.com

2008-03-12T13:37:00.002-04:00

They have a very interesting article up on Consumerist.com written by a woman who used to work in customer service for Verizon. It provides a very interesting glimpse into their definition of "service," and it explains a lot of the hassle I have faced over the past few months. Read the whole article - it's a great read.

One of the more telling sections of the article...
In order to meet their 15 min handle time, agents have simply transferred the customer back into the queue to talk to another agent and tried to make it look like it was a phone problem.
Agents have just hung up on customer/disconnected their phone, or told the customer that they need to go to another department and then transfer the customer there. It is sad that this happens but unfortunately if you cannot meet your metrics then you will do this.

This explains:
1) All those times where I would sit endlessly on hold, only to end up dumped back into the general call queue.
2) All those times where the line just went dead.
3) All those promised call backs that never came - basically they needed to get me off the phone to meet their numbers. It must be an unwritten rule that you can always "promise a callback."

No wonder they are such a freaking debacle.

Update 3/12: Now I AM Getting a Final Bill (allegedly)

2008-03-12T13:27:00.002-04:00

I told you this story was probably not over. Now I received an email saying that my issue had been escalated to a "specialist" and that I would be receiving a copy of my final bill in the next 8-10 days. I am going to go out on a limb and say that, despite my previous communications, the final bill will not be $0. I'll also go out on a limb and say that I won't receive the bill anyway.

First Week Site Stats

2008-03-11T22:45:00.004-04:00

So tomorrow marks the one week anniversary of my site. Some facts of interest, courtesy of Google Analytics:

Visits: 74
Pageviews: 139
Avg Time on Site: 6 mins, 30 secs

I am particularly happy about the average time spent on the site. It shows that people have really taken the time to read my story. Hopefully, it helps them make a smart decision when considering phone, TV, and internet providers.

Please continue to spread the word.

3/11 Update re: Status of Final Bill

2008-03-11T16:03:00.017-04:00

Read it and weep...

"We are unable to send out a copy of your bill."

What in the blue hell does that mean? Have you ever paid for a monthly service, and not been provided a copy of the final bill showing that the account has been closed in good standing? That's happened to me once in my lifetime...

This certainly calls into question a few things from the past few weeks:

Why did a lady on the phone tell me they sent me a final bill? Probably the same reason she hung up on me - because she doesn't know her ass from a hole in the ground.
Where did they come up with all those random quotes for my final bill? $9.61? $14.10? The famous -$0.06? Just the other day I got an email saying $23.65. All the amounts probably came straight out of the aforementioned lady's "hole in the ground."

And my favorite line from the email - "Please have your most recent Verizon bill available before making the call." Hmm. I think that is going to be a bit of a problem for me. I sent a response to this brilliant email stating that I thought it was unimaginable that they could not provide a final bill, especially considering the circumstances.

Seriously, this would be a fitting ending to a completely f'ed up experience, but I suspect there will be further twists and turns in this saga. Stay tuned.

3/7 Addendum: "-$0.06"

2008-03-07T19:33:00.004-05:00

In my last post, I mentioned that one of the 6 quotes I got for my final bill was -$0.06. I don't think I have posted about that one. It came from their online account management tool. One person I spoke with said that I could get the final balance online, and this is what I get (as of right now, in fact).

3/7 UPDATE: Yet another final bill quote

2008-03-07T19:26:00.003-05:00

I actually got another email response based on the email chain I posted about yesterday (the one they said they couldn't handle via email). Only problem is that it is yet another different quote on my final bill. Seriously, how is this so difficult??

So I responded that this is the the 6th different answer I have been given on this final bill question ($0, "I don't know," $9.61, $14.10, -$0.06) and all I want is a copy of the final bill. A piece of paper that shows what I owe. I am not exactly making huge demands here. We'll see what I get.

Could Verizon (VZ) be the next Sprint (S)?

2008-03-06T17:06:00.007-05:00

Just two short years ago, shares of Sprint traded around $27 a share, giving it a market cap of nearly $75 billion by my calculation (and today's share counts). That's not too much smaller than the current market cap of Verizon (approx $100 billion). In those two years, Sprint has lost nearly 75% of its value. Why might that be, you ask? While the seemingly failed merger with Nextel was certainly part of it, Sprint has also lost a ton of customers due to poor customer service.

From Wikipedia:
In April 2007, Sprint "topped" MSN Money's Customer Service Hall of Shame. Sprint was given a "poor" rating by 40% of those poll respondents who had an opinion about the company. Customer Service continues to be a very sore spot for the carrier as it has struggled with multiple complaints in this area. Complaints ranging from consumers spending extensive time on hold to false advertising for products and services continue to plague the company.

Sound familiar?

I may only be one lost customer, but I certainly believe that where there's smoke, there's fire. If Verizon doesn't clean up it's act, it could suffer the same fate as Sprint. That would make them take notice.

3/6 Continued: Another typical phone debacle

2008-03-06T13:42:00.002-05:00

So I am on the phone now with Verizon - on hold of course. I am talking to my third person so far. The first person was in the wrong department. Duh. The second person was able to find my account number, but didn't know how to locate my final bill, so she has conferenced in a third lady. The lady took my account number, put me on hold for 10 minutes, and came back and said "how can I help you?" Duh. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH MY FINAL BILL???

Finally, she came back and said there is no final bill. I said that's odd since the person last week thought it was going to be $14.10. Now, she's confused and I am back on hold...

Holy shit, this is maddening. The lady came back and said that she can't access my final bill because it would be billed as part of my telephone bill. I NEVER HAD A FREAKING VERIZON PHONE!!

So she transferred to a lady in landline collections. What the hell sense did that make? The lady in landline collections had no idea why I would have been transferred to her either. So she transferred me to another department - the prompts made it seem like it was a bill resolution department. Perfect. I need some freaking resolution.

The representative quoted me $9.61. So in the past week or so, I have heard "I don't know," $0, $14.10, and $9.61. She said that I should have received the bill, which was supposedly mailed on February 16th (curiously, a Saturday). I told her that I did not believe her, and that I certainly had not received it, and asked if I could get a copy of that bill for my records. The lady put me on hold while she figured out how to get a copy of the bill sent to my address.

5 minutes on hold AND I JUST GOT DUMPED BACK INTO THE GENERAL QUEUE!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE??????? NOW I AM IN THE VERIZON FIOS SALES QUEUE!!!!! JESUS H CHRIST!!!

SO I CHOOSE THE PROMPT TO SPEAK WITH BILLING, AND IT SAYS "CONTACT YOUR LOCAL BUSINESS OFFICE" AND HANGS UP ON ME.

TOTAL PEOPLE I SPOKE WITH = 5
TOTAL TIME SPENT ON THE PHONE = 45 MINUTES
TOTAL ISSUES RESOLVED = 0

DAMN YOU VERIZON!!!!

Yet Another 3/6 Update: Another rapid response!

2008-03-06T13:08:00.001-05:00

You would think I would be excited about all of these quick responses. My first email evoked a request for more information, so I provided it. Now my second response from Verizon says "we can't help you with that over email." You knew the question because of my first email, and if you couldn't answer it no matter what, why did you ask for additional information? And why was there an option to email about "My Final Bill" in the first place? What a freaking clownshow.

If I have a spare few hours, I might go ahead and call that 888 number. I can't believe I have to continue this trek just to find out the status of my bill.

Another 3/6 Update: Already got a response

2008-03-06T12:58:00.000-05:00

Verizon responded with an email that I needed to provide my phone number and account number. Those two data elements have not been particularly successful in identifying my account through the telephone, but maybe they will be helpful through email support. I responded with the information and am looking forward to a response.

3/6 UPDATE: A simpler task for their email system

2008-03-06T10:34:00.000-05:00

Perhaps I was being a bit presumptuous to assume that a standard customer service representative would be able to handle a response to a tale of this magnitude. Obviously, I haven't received a response to yesterday's email (I wouldn't even expect one this quickly from a good company) but I am a little suspicious that I never received that tracking number I was promised. I swear their email system is bunk too.

In any event, I tried to dumb it down a little bit and ask a simple question - "Can I have my final bill, please?" Here's what I sent. I'll let you know if I hear anything.

UPDATE 3/5: Will I get a response?

2008-03-05T16:01:00.000-05:00

So here's my status:
1) Service disconnected February 11.
2) I never received the two sets of shipping labels that I was promised within 3-5 business days.
3) I never received a copy of my final bill that I was promised within 10 days.

I figured my best bet was to email the link to my blog to the customer service email address on Verizon.com. I asked that they read my story and let me know if they had any thoughts on my experience.

I used this email link when I first signed up with FIOS last summer and was trying to get a copy of my bill. I never got a response, so I am not going to hold my breath this time either. I'll let you know what happens.

Update 2/29: I have been quoted a final bill of $14.10.

2008-02-29T14:44:00.000-05:00

2/29 UPDATE: I might be in good shape. I only had to speak with 2 people today, which is a significant sign of progress. Best news of all, is that after a long search for my account, the representative said my final balance was only $14.10. That is great news, and I may finally be at the end of this road. She didn't know why I hadn't received the bill yet (she said it mailed 2/16), but that it should be en route. And she had no idea why I never received my two rounds of shipping labels. Oh well, I was hoping to ship my final payment, in pennies, in the largest box I could find at their expense. Oh well. Hopefully the next update is the final one.

2/25 Update: Has anyone seen my final bill? Can you even find my account?

2008-02-25T14:44:00.000-05:00

2/25 UPDATE: Still not much info on the final bill. I spoke with a representative yesterday who was much better than I was used to, but still my question went unanswered. She was able to locate my old internet account, but was unable to locate my old FIOS TV account. She searched by phone number, name, service address, even SSN and couldn't find the account. How the hell is that even possible? She was very sympathetic, however, and said she understood why I told Verizon to take a hike. Stay tuned for further updates.

2/23 Update: No labels, so I dumped the stuff at a local store.

2008-02-23T14:43:00.002-05:00

I was just trying to end this ordeal. Seriously, it was wearing on me. So it finally dawned on me that there might be a retail location that I could drop off the Verizon equipment. Turned out there was one in my area. So I arrived with all my gear neatly packaged, and the greeter quickly realized that I was there to turn in equipment - not the image they want to portray in their store. So she shuttled me to the back corner where I met with a very nice representative.

He listened to my story, reviewed my account and really seemed to understand my pain. Not surprisingly, my ordeal didn't seem like a total shock to him. In fact, he was both amused and confused to find out that we had an installation scheduled for next week!!!! Huh??!?!? No one told us that. He jokingly asked if we would like to try Verizon again, and we both nodded in agreement that it probably wasn't the best idea.

So he presented me with a receipt that showed that I returned the equipment in good order. Of course, the receipt indicated the possibility of a early termination fee, but he personally promised that it would not apply. He said that if it were to appear on the final bill (which he said can be tricky to receive and/or understand), that I could call him directly.

So I may never find out what actually happened to my order, or all my promised returned phone calls, or the return shipping labels, or any semblance of competence at the toll free support line, but I have a feeling I will find out that I got an early termination fee and a shortened lifespan from all of the heartburn this has caused. I'll keep you updated on the status of the final bill.

2nd Update on 2/22: More broken promises

2008-02-22T14:42:00.000-05:00

2/22 SECOND UPDATE @ 5:45pm: I got through to someone who indicated that he would regenerate the order for the shipping label. In fact, he asked for my email address so they could be sent electronically. He indicated their system was down (shocker), but it would be back up at 6:30pm, at which time he would be able to send the labels. Of course, 6:30pm is after the customer service department closes and my labels never arrived. Seriously, this is just a joke.

Update 2/22: Still no boxes or labels to return my equipment

2008-02-22T14:41:00.000-05:00

2/22 UPDATE: STILL NO BOXES OR LABELS TO RETURN THE EQUIPMENT. I called "customer support" early this afternoon, spent 2 hours total on the phone, and spoke with no fewer than 6 people - a few land line folks, a few tech support folks, and a few billing folks. Seriously, you can't make this stuff up. It's just unbelievable. My saga may never end...

First Update 2/20: Dude, where's my boxes?

2008-02-21T14:39:00.000-05:00

Suffice it to say, it has been nearly two weeks (as of 2/20) and I haven't received the boxes. Now I am just waiting for those jerks to charge me an obscene amount of money for not returning everything - I know this is a possibility because a coworker had this happen to him a few weeks ago (detailed in an earlier post). I called a few days ago just to check up on those boxes, and I was "assured" that this was standard procedure and they should arrive any day now.

My experience is not unique. Not even in my small office.

2008-02-20T14:41:00.000-05:00

I assume that reading this far is akin to waterboarding itself, but if there is just one person who can hear my story and change their mind about switching to FIOS, then I win. Funny thing is, my story does not seem all that atypical...

My torture has become a thing of legend in our office, as the 20 or so people who work near me couldn't believe how I could possibly be spending hours a day, week after week trying to accomplish the simple task of getting a phone installed. However, my conversations brought to light the fact that I am not the only one who thinks Verizon should be ashamed of themselves. Other horror stories I have heard THIS WEEK. Keep in mind, this is 3 different people, other than me, in an office of only 20 folks. And not a single person in the entire office has a single nice thing to say about Verizon. So without further ado...

1) The intermittent, although extended, internet outages that I and my co-worker have experienced. Verizon tech support continues to say that there is no issue. However, the other night, my coworker buddy bumped into a Verizon tech in his neighborhood and asked him about the problem. He confirmed that there has been a problem in that area for some time, and that it is a hardware-type issue with no ETA for resolution. Typical Verizon.

2) Monthly rates not as agreed upon when Verizon convinced one co-worker to switch from another local provider. In typical Verizon fashion, he has not received a copy of his bill (despite repeated attempts) but they were nice enough to charge his credit card. He has spent hours on the phone, and was ultimately given the email address of a Verizon employee who promised to resolve the issue. My coworker emailed him two weeks ago, and has not received a response. Typical Verizon.

3) Yet another coworker had said the hell with Verizon and their shitty service. He scheduled the appointment for the tech to come out and take back the cable boxes, etc. Yet two weeks later, Verizon debited his checking account for over $900. Again, multiple phone calls, bounced around from department to department, and he finally gets the answer that he didn't return the boxes. THE DAMN TECHNICIAN PICKED THEM UP TWO WEEKS AGO?? To make things worse, Verizon indicated they couldn't credit his account directly, and would have to send a paper check. It's been about two weeks, and he has not received his check.

The Beginning: My Terrible Experience with Verizon FIOS Customer "Service"

2008-02-08T14:35:00.001-05:00

I will go so far as to say that I would have preferred to have been waterboarded than endure the experience I had with Verizon FIOS over the past few months. Everyone's human, so a few long waits and a few mistakes here and there are no big deal. But continuously utter incompetence, repeated lack of follow-up, and the absence of accountability at any level are symptoms of a much more serious problem.

Let's start with a few more minor gripes, before I get into the serious issue...
1) Good luck getting a copy of your first few bills. After our initial installation of internet and television, Verizon was nice enough to charge my credit card each month, but they didn't bother sending me a copy of the bill. This proved to be quite a challenge. They said to get it online, but for some reason neither my phone nor account number would allow me to register with the site. Most representatives were confused why I would even need a copy of the bill. That's one of the stupidest things I have ever heard, but it certainly wouldn't be the stupidest thing I heard from Verizon. In retrospect, such a simple issue that caused so much heartburn should have been a redflag that Verizon wasn't right for me, but I stuck with it - much to my dismay.

2) Either I had intermittent service issues or the wireless modem they provided blows. Either way it was my problem, apparently. How does frequent 0 mbps upload and download sound? I have a colleague at work who reported similar issues in the past few months, and he too was given the runaround by technical support (e.g. Did you reset the router? Yes, putz. His full story will be detailed in a later post, and apparently is related to mine). I called tech support multiple times and, each time, they said things were fine. They even pointed me to a cute little speedtest that confirmed their diagnosis. How the hell is 0 mbps transfer a "success?" And why the hell are they "congratulating" me?

3) They offer fewer HD channels than my local cable provider. With all that fiber optic bandwidth, shouldn't they be able to offer at least a comparable number of HD channels?

4) They do not offer NBA League Pass, NHL Center Ice, or NFL Sunday Ticket. I know the Sunday Ticket package is exclusive to one provider, but the others are not.

5) Their website is downright terrible.

6) I know it's common to complain about customer service (long wait times, offshoring, etc.), but Verizon's customer service is so far beyond bad that it's almost indescribable. Atrocious. Despicable. Maddening. Horrendous. Deplorable. Basically every SAT word that you can think of that's synonymous with "sucks big time." I will humbly attempt to describe my experience in hopes that I might save just a few people from the experience I endured.

It all started with an installation gone awry. I had FIOS internet and TV, but was looking to add the phone offering to my bundle of services. Verizon was planning to install a phone with a number ported from another carrier. I was told this could take up to 10 business days, so we started the process and scheduled an installation nearly 4 weeks in advance.

4 weeks later, I waited around from the requisite 8am-12pm as indicated. Needless to say, no one showed up - no technician, no phone call, no nothing. So I called Verizon's Customer "Service" line for the first of what would be literally seemingly endless times.

So my daily routine for the next two weeks was as follows:
1) Call the Verizon FIOS customer service line, and go through the maddening digital helper woman. Each time you call, and choose the same prompts, you seem to get routed differently. Choosing something as simple as "order status" got me to such places as tech support, multple Verizon land line phone service regions (many of which were not mine), new accounts, and my favorite...A COMPLETE DISCONNECT. THE LINE JUST GOES DEAD. What a perfect way to set the tone for the type service that awaits.
2) Spend an average of 20 minutes on hold, with a range from anywhere between a few minutes to well over an hour.
3) Explain my story to the representative - and believe me, it got longer every time I called. Just trying to get a phone installed, missed appointment, order in limbo, can I reschedule, etc? Simple stuff, you would think. After letting me explain my story for a good few minutes, many times I heard "oh that's not my department." That's funny, I followed the prompts to the "order status" line.
4) Get dumped into another queue, with no priority status, so my wait begins again.
5) Repeat steps #2 and #3 a few more times (seriously). How does this keep happening? I swear their phone system is retarded - ironic for one of the largest phone companies in the world.
6) Finally get through to the person who can "help" me.
7) Go through my story.
8) Get put on hold, because the representative realizes that my issue is confusing (a phone installation, mind you). Sometimes, this step would end with me right back at step 4 - somehow when I am on hold with one representative, the call gets picked up by a completely new person, sometimes in a completely different department.
9) After long conversations, the representative cannot rectify the issue and promises me a phone call back within 24 hours from a person better suited to help (install a freaking phone).
10) Wait 24 hours for a phone call that never comes.
11) Repeat steps #1 - #10. Literally. Every day. For two weeks. To get a phone installed. Over those two weeks, I estimate that I was on the phone with Verizon for a good 20 hours. And I was promised at least 10 return phone calls which never happened. See why I am so frustrated?

Based on all of my phone conversations, I was able to piece together the root cause of the issue like Van Gogh crafting a fine mosaic. Through the fault of the first person that we spoke to, the order was not filled out correctly and ended up in some despicable form of limbo known at Verizon as the "Shadow Queue." This black hole should be reserved for only the world's worst murderers, but apparently my phone order took up residence there as well.

Of all the people that I spoke with during the first week and a half of my ordeal, no one knew what the hell to do to get my order moving. They spoke of the "Shadow Queue" as if it were the freaking Loch Ness monster - we are pretty sure it exists, but we don't really have any proof. But apparently that's where my order ended up, and that meant I was up shit's creek without a boat.

So to recap - literally every day's ordeal ended with a promise that someone from the proper department would get in touch with me within 24 hours. I went so far as to provide 2 contact numbers so that I would never be out of reach. Each day I grew sadder and sadder, and madder and madder as I realized that I was in an endless loop.

Finally, late in the second week, I had a breakthrough. A very nice woman seemed up to the challenge. She made a Joe Namath-like guarantee that she would win this battle for me, and I would have a phone in no time. So she put me on hold for a while, and came back with the verdict. It was kind of a good news/bad news scenario. The good news was that she figured out the problem. The bad news was that my existing order would need to be canceled and a new one would need to be created in its place.

But hey, this was progress, and I welcomed the opportunity to get this thing moving again. I even went so far as to say that if porting the old number was particularly difficult, I would gladly take a new randomly-assigned phone number. That would require a return phone call within the hour, which she personally guaranteed. In fact, it would come from her supervisor. But like Elmer Fudd being outsmarted by Bugs Bunny once again, I accepted the booby prize that would never materialize. But this conversation wasn't all for naught - the representative leveled with me. A heart to heart chat, if you will.

She indicated that in all of her years with Verizon, she had never seen an account with more issues than mine for such a simple problem. I even had a special "red flag" which indicates a customer who, apparently, is either "mad" or "screwed with." She said that my account notes were akin to a Tolstoy novel full of torture, deceit, and sadness. She said she could not believe how I had put up with this kind of treatment on a daily basis for weeks. In fact, she suggested I contact the "customer retention" department and request a good faith credit based on my experience. So she transferred me to that department, and said that I would be getting a phone call within the hour about the new service order. Sweet.

When I got through to the "customer retention" department, I had to double check the dictionary for the definition of "retention." Turns out, I did know what the word meant. Apparently, the representative did not. I told her my extremely long-winded saga of sadness, and asked her to reference the notes on my account. Her indignant response shocked me - What are you talking about? I don't see any notes or issues indicated on your account. Why would I offer you anything when everything is fine? This was the beginning of the end of my experience with Verizon. I told her that I was completely unsatisfied with both the content and tone of her response. I had literally bent over backwards for hours a day for two weeks TO RESOLVE AN ISSUE THEY CREATED, COULDN'T TROUBLESHOOT, AND DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE DAMN DECENCY TO CALL ME BACK ONCE OUT OF ABOUT 10 PROMISED RETURNED CALLS? All for me to ADD SERVICE aka PAY VERIZON MORE MONEY!!! You know what her answer was? I'll have someone call you back within 24 hours.

At this point, I had enough. I asked her how I could trust that I would receive a return phone call when I hadn't received one every day for the past two weeks? That was exactly the problem that exacerbated the initial problem, and she's going to make it better by doing the same thing? She said there was nothing she could do (again, she is in the customer retention department), so I told her there was only one thing I could do. CANCEL MY SERVICE. She hung up on me, of course, as my tone quickly devolved into a catharsis of the frustrations I built up over the two weeks. So I called back to cancel.

In fitting fashion, my first journey through the call router landed me in the wrong department. Despite calling the FIOS number that I always called, I ended up with the landline Verizon group. Sweet. I even wasted my opening line - "With great pleasure, I would love to cancel all of my Verizon services." He giggled a bit, explained he was not the man for the job, and transferred me to the right department.

When canceling, I was presented two options for returning the Verizon equipment. First, was to schedule an appointment (with a 4 hour window) to have a FIOS guy come out and collect the stuff. Are you freaking kidding me? You think I am going through the scheduling ordeal again? No chance, Lance. Instead, the representative promised to send postage paid boxes within 3-5 business days. Also, I was assured that we would not be receiving an early cancellation fee, because I had gone so far out of my way to try and stick with Verzion (and ADD service), that there was just no chance in the world that I should incur a penalty.